Thanks to the advice given previously by my friends on Dieselpunks.org, I’ve revised the first 8 sentences of my new Lady Dru novel. I’ve dumped the “info dump” in favor of showing Dru’s impish side. Let me know if this is an improvement, or if I need to go back to the drawing board. Here is the snippet:
I pushed the throttle and watched the speedo needle cross the one hundred miles per hour mark and pulled back on the stick. The nose of my Puss Moth rose and continued rising. Up, up, up we flew until we were upside down. I pushed the stick forward and down we came; pulled back and leveled off, completing the loop.
Karl started awake and I put my little baby into a displacement roll (something like a corkscrew); once, twice, thrice. Karl started screaming, “We’re going to crash!”
I brought the plane back to level just as Karl grabbed an airsick bag and threw up. I was laughing so hard, tears ran from my eyes.
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[Originally published 18 January 2015 at www.cwhawes.com.]
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